How to Help When Life Hurts
Have you ever felt helpless when faced with someone else's hurt? Have you ever been lost for words or unsure what to do when someone close to you is experiencing deep pain and sorrow. As a pastor, I have sat with people during some of their worst moments. I have often felt inadequate and unhelpful.
And yet the awkwardness and uncertainty must not stop us from entering into the pain of others. To minister to those who are walking through sorrow is a clear and sacred calling in Scripture. Paul writes in Galatians 6:2: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ." When someone is being crushed under the weight of life's varied sorrows, it is up to us to come alongside them and to help them carry their burden.
But how do we do that? What might this look like?
In a recent article, Martin Williams, Lecturer in New Testament and Greek at the Reformed Theological College in Melbourne, offers seven practical ways to minister to the downcast. He says, "Whether we are supporting loved ones through the trials of chronic illness or walking alongside believers struggling with mental health, our approach must be rooted in biblical wisdom and genuine empathy. As we embark on this journey, we are reminded that our role is not to fix the unfixable or to offer easy answers, but to be present in the pain, to offer practical love, and to gently point to the hope that only Christ can provide." Here are Martin's seven suggestions for how we can help others when life hurts:
- Be Present in Their Pain
Ministering to those who are downcast or facing long-term health challenges begins with the simple yet profound act of being present. Romans 12:15 reminds us to "weep with those who weep," highlighting the power of empathy and companionship in times of sorrow. Often, the most impactful ministry we can offer is not in what we say, but in our silent presence—listening without judgment, sharing their sorrow, and bearing witness to their pain. In these moments, words are not necessary; our presence speaks volumes about Christ's love and care, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.
- Practical Acts of Love
Offering tangible support is a powerful way to reflect Christ's love in action. Acts like providing meals, helping with household tasks, or being available for errands can build trust and open doors for deeper conversations. … These practical acts not only demonstrate Christ's love but also provide a platform for sharing the gospel and spreading Christ's love in a non-intrusive yet meaningful way. By serving others in these practical ways, we not only meet their immediate needs but also create opportunities to share the hope and love of Christ, embodying his heart of compassion and care.
- Gently Point to Hope
As we walk alongside those in distress, we must respect their emotions and beliefs, yet remain open to moments when we can naturally share the hope that sustains us in Christ. Passages like Psalm 34:18, which reminds us that "The Lord is near to the broken-hearted," or Psalm 23:4, where David finds comfort in the valley of the shadow of death, can offer profound comfort without being intrusive. This hope is not a quick solution to life's challenges but a steady anchor that holds fast in turbulent times. It's a reminder that even in the darkest moments, God's presence is a comforting reality, providing peace and reassurance that transcends our circumstances. By sharing this hope, we offer not just words of comfort but a living testimony of Christ's enduring love and care.
- Pray with Sensitivity
Prayer is central to our faith and vital in ministering to the downcast or depressed. Often, those struggling find it hard to pray for themselves, making it essential for us to intercede on their behalf. This act provides comfort and is an opportunity to pray the gospel into their lives, reminding them of God's love and grace. When offering spiritual support, sensitivity is crucial; gauge the openness of those you are ministering to and respect their boundaries. If direct offers of prayer are dismissed, continue praying privately, asking God to provide moments where hearts might be open to hear about his love and grace. By praying with sensitivity and perseverance, we reflect Christ's heart of compassion and care, reminding those in distress that they are not alone and that God is always present.
- Balance Truth with Empathy
…we must balance truth with empathy, acknowledging the pain and loss while pointing to the ultimate hope found in Christ (1 Thess 4:13-14). This balance is crucial, as excessive empathy can silence truth, while truth without empathy can be insensitive. We must navigate this tension with care, ensuring that our words of hope are tempered with compassion and understanding. By doing so, we allow others to grieve authentically while keeping sight of God's redemptive purposes, providing a comforting reminder of his love and care in the midst of suffering.
- Trust God's Timing
In caring for others, it's easy to feel anxious that we're not doing enough, but true ministry requires trusting God's timing. We must wait prayerfully for the Holy Spirit to provide opportunities for gospel conversations, remembering that our role is to plant seeds while God brings growth (1 Cor 3:6-7). This trust frees us from the pressure to see immediate results, allowing us to be faithful in love and prayer. Even when we can't see progress, we must trust that God is at work, weaving his purposes into the lives of those we serve.
- Consistency in Engagement
The church often excels in crisis situations but struggles with long-term support. As time passes, initial fervour can wane, leaving those with chronic conditions feeling forgotten. It's easy to become weary, but perseverance is crucial. Regular check-ins build trust and provide ongoing support, demonstrating a genuine commitment to caring for others throughout their journey. By maintaining consistency, we reflect Christ's enduring love and ensure that no one feels abandoned in their struggles.
With you on the journey,
Adam
