When Darkness Surrounds You
“I wake up in the night and all I see is darkness, all I feel is darkness.” “Why are all these bad things happening?” “I don’t understand!”
When darkness surrounded them, these fellow believers asked questions and wrestled with God. Pain has a way of confounding us. The truth is, we live in a cursed and broken world. Our ancient father Adam sinned, and groaning, pain and death were the cosmic result (Romans 5:12; 8:22). No matter what we do, at some time or another, we will be confronted by evil, death, and pain.
Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:
I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.
2 And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
3 But better than both
is the one who has never been born,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 4:1-3)
The Bible is very honest about these realities. Apart from God’s intervening kindness, the curse that we live under is simply unbearable. We can be stoic, or positive, or grateful for what remains. We can look to self-help gurus and surround ourselves with good vibes. But when you’re really in the darkness, these things feel incredibly thin. They’re not enough, because the truth is we cannot escape the curse no matter how much we ignore it. Death comes for us all and undoes everything in the end. If you think I’m being too negative, just read through the Book of Ecclesiastes. I am describing what life is really like apart from the intervention of God.
The honesty of the Bible is a lifeline for those who are waking up to darkness within and without. It affirms what they are seeing and feeling, even if they can’t reconcile it with the goodness of God. This is why I love the Psalms. They’re so real and raw. When you don’t know what to think about God or how to speak to God, they give you divinely inspired words to pray.
1 Lord, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
2 May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.
3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength. (Psalm 88:1-4)
Believer, if you are overwhelmed with troubles right now, don’t be ashamed. You have many companions in the Scriptures who have suffered likewise. Let the Psalms give you words to pray when you don’t know how to relate to God anymore. Don’t isolate yourself from God, but wrestle this through with Him. Let your pain become prayer. He is not intimidated by your questions or pain. In fact, the mystery of the gospel is that God Himself bore your pain (Isaiah 53:4). Under the unbearable darkness of the Cross, Jesus Himself felt abandoned by the Father (Matthew 27:46). We follow One who bore the weight of sin and darkness for countless sufferers, and who offers to walk us through the pain He has overcome. Edward Shillito beautifully captures the comfort this offers us in his poem, ‘Jesus of the Scars’.
“Jesus of the Scars” – A poem by Edward Shillito
If we have never sought, we seek Thee now;
Thine eyes burn through the dark, our only stars;
We must have sight of thorn-pricks on Thy brow,
We must have Thee, O Jesus of the Scars.
The heavens frighten us; they are too calm;
In all the universe we have no place.
Our wounds are hurting us; where is the balm?
Lord Jesus, by Thy Scars, we claim Thy grace.
If, when the doors are shut, Thou drawest near,
Only reveal those hands, that side of Thine;
We know today what wounds are, have no fear,
Show us Thy Scars, we know the countersign.
The other gods were strong; but Thou wast weak;
They rode, but Thou didst stumble to a throne;
But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak,
And not a god has wounds, but Thou alone.
Peace to you,
Ben
