Proverbs 31 – A Guide on Biblical Womanhood or a Universal Note on Godly Wisdom?

Having had "The Proverb's 31 Woman" jotted down on my list of passages to further explore for some time now, I was curious about what other people thought. The reflection's I've found are varied, especially in women – some feel inspired by the sheer scope of the woman's commitment and capabilities; while others feel demoralised by a sense of personal failure in never quite reaching the wife- and motherhood standards themselves; and still others disregard her altogether as an outdated depiction of a 'perfect Christian woman'. And what of the men, some of whom are bound to see her as the benchmark for an excellent wife, while others write her off as too precious a jewel to find?

Where do you fall? As a woman? As a man? As married? As single? It seems that often this passage is best thought of as a useful guide for women aspiring to marriage or as a tool best used in the context of women's bible studies… but is this all that we are meant to glean from Proverbs 31?

I think we can start by establishing that it's certainly not any less useful than an immensely instructive, wisdom-centred passage for godly wives and mothers. While it may not necessarily be helpful to view verses 10-31 as a checklist, I think striving to become a strong woman who fears the Lord (v. 30), raising respectful children with an encouraging husband (v. 28), and giving yourself diligently to your family and community (vv. 10-27) is not a bad thing. In fact, it is an excellent thing (v. 10). However, as my study bible points out, even the excellent Proverbs 31 woman is not sufficient in herself: "Her ultimate regard is not for her beauty, goodness, or accomplishment, but for the One who provides for her every need and loved one." Only in Jesus does God make us sufficient for His purposes.

A similar perspective is echoed by Selena Frederick, a co-founder of Fierce Marriage, in her article titled The Proverbs 31 Woman Is Not Who I Thought She Was1. She explains that instead of seeing the Proverbs 31 woman as a set of prescriptive standards to meet, Selena interprets the passage as "describing a woman who's entire being is completely rooted and found in Jesus. Her soul is one that is overtaken by His goodness and she is being both observed and encouraged in all that she is, not who she is striving to be."

A slightly different approach again is taken by reformed Pastor Jim David, who believes the last book of Proverbs depicts Lady Wisdom herself. In his article2, he explains that Proverbs 31, being inspired by the sayings of King Lemuel's mother, was written to an audience of young royal boys. With this context and previous passages describing wisdom in Proverbs, Jim argues that this passage is much more likely to describe Lady Wisdom than a literal woman.

He goes on to explain that Lady Wisdom's perfection in this passage is not without purpose. In fact, it may be the most important point of the entire passage: "Lady Wisdom doesn't only show young men the value of being wise. Her perfection foreshadows our wisdom from God: Jesus Christ." Ultimately, Lady Wisdom's perfection parallels that of Jesus, the only fully perfect and righteous human.

As to where my views lie, it seems that Proverbs 31 can serve many purposes; it can be instructive and encouraging for women, thought-provoking and applicable for men, but most of all, it points all of us towards our total sufficiency found only in Jesus Christ.

Grace and peace,

Hana Baigrie (Ministry Intern)

References:

Frederick, S. The Proverbs 31 woman is not who I thought she was. Fierce Marriage. 2019. Available at: https://fiercemarriage.com/proverbs-31-woman-not-thought

Davis, J. Where to find the real Proverbs 31 woman. The Gospel Coalition. 2022. Available at: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/find-proverbs-woman/