Mother’s Day: Celebrate & Mourn
I have friends who love Mother’s Day and others who find it to be a really difficult day. I wonder what your thoughts are about it? I’m blessed with a wonderful Mum and Mother-in-Law as well as a number of women in my life who are Mother figures to me. But I’m acutely aware of friends who have fractured relationships with their Mums or have lost their Mums. Friends whose children fail to show love and appreciation to them. Not to mention the heartache in the eyes of those who have longed for, but never been able to have children.
I read an article by Courtney Doctor that I think can help us approach Mother’s Day in a way that embraces all its beauty and brokenness. Take a moment to read what she says.
When Mother’s Day Hurts
But Mother’s Day isn’t a celebration for all. It’s excruciating for many: my friend who lost a child this year, another friend who’s celebrating her last Mother’s Day with her dying mom, my friends who would love to be mothers but aren’t, my friends who’ve had abusive moms, my friends whose adult children are estranged. These situations are extremely difficult, and Mother’s Day can serve to only intensify the pain.
How, then, should we treat Mother’s Day? Churches, pastors, friends, and families struggle with this question every year. Do we ignore those hurting and go on celebrating? Do we suppress the celebration in hopes of lessening the pain around us? It might help to ask a deeper question: Should we be surprised that such intense joy and sorrow are wrapped up in motherhood?
It wouldn’t surprise us if we knew our story.
Motherhood in the Metanarrative
God’s first recorded words to Adam and Eve implied motherhood: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). Motherhood was part of Eden, and it should have been an experience of pure joy.
But after the couple sinned, God pronounced the consequences of their rebellion. To Eve he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children” (Gen. 3:16). This pain goes beyond the physical pain of childbirth—it includes everything painful about childbearing and motherhood: miscarriage, infertility, SIDS, abortion, rebellious children . . . the list could go on and on.
But we don’t stop reading at Genesis 3:16—the story continues. Four verses later, we read, “The man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living” (Gen. 3:20). In spite of the curse, life would come, and redemption would come through life. The first thing that happens after Adam and Eve are expelled from Eden is a birth—God’s mercy in the midst of his curse.
Eventually, Christ himself would come, “born of woman,” to bring salvation to his people and break the curse (Gal. 4:4; cf. Gen. 3:15). Until the final redemption of all things, however, the effects of the curse are still with us. Motherhood continues to be a mixture of great joy and tremendous pain. We live in a time that requires us to mourn over all that is broken and, at the same time, rejoice over what is good and right.
On this Mother’s Day, weep for yourself and for those you love who mourn over infertility, miscarriages, abortions, wayward children, and other consequences of the curse. At the same time, rejoice for everything good and right in motherhood that shines as a testimony to God’s goodness, mercy, and redemption. Celebrate life, extol the praiseworthy deeds of the moms around you, and praise God that he will one day, finally and fully, set everything to rights and wipe every tear from our eyes.
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/let-joy-and-sadness-mingle-this-mothers-day/
Friends, joy and sorrow in this life are not random or meaningless. They’re woven into the larger story God is telling. The story of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. Pain reminds us that we live in a broken world. Joy points us to the goodness of God and the hope of restoration.
In light of that, I encourage us to hold space for both celebration and sorrow this Mother’s Day. Give thanks for the women who have nurtured and loved us. Grieve the losses and unmet longings that Mother’s Day might stir. Look beyond this specific day (and any day) toward God who sees, knows and walks with us in both our joy and sorrow.
Let’s be people who celebrate what is good, mourn what is broken and rest in the love of our Saviour. He who bore our griefs and will one day make all things new.
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! God’s dwelling-place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death” or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ (Revelation 21:3-4)
In Grace,
Emma
