Drinking, Success, and Singles
You may be wondering what these three things have in common (and, no, it’s not tennis).
In short, the way we approach and address these topics speaks volumes to the culture that we live in AND the culture that we’re creating.
I have had a number of experiences and conversations over the past 12 months that have highlighted an unhelpful culture within certain churches, including ours, regarding these topics.
In many cases, each of us acts and behaves in a particular way because that’s what we have been taught.
It’s what we have learned from those around us.
It’s what we’ve heard about our parents’ upbringing, and/or what we’ve seen them and their friends do.
It’s what OUR friends do.
Effectively, it’s how we’ve been discipled.
Because discipleship is an all-of-life process.
We are always being discipled by, and discipling, those around us – for better or for worse.
As you read this, I want you to consider which it is.
In 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1, Paul writes, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God – even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”
Let me ask you a question, “If people were to follow the example of how you follow Christ, what would the church look like in 5-10 years’ time? What about in 20 years’ time?”
Would the church be a group of people who drink to excess and dance the night away?
Would the church be a group of people who prioritise personal success and achievements over deep and godly relationships and community?
Would the church be a group of people who clamour for sound teaching, yet live exactly like the culture around them?
OR…
Would the church be a group of people who sacrifice their time and resources to spread the gospel?
Would the church be a group of people willing to lay down their lives for Jesus’ sake?
What is it that you are investing your time, money, and resources into?
If you have kids, what are they seeing you prioritise?
Who are the people you’ve brought into your family and community? And what is the example that they are setting?
If church on a Sunday is an added extra that we attend when there’s nothing else on…
If we are not personally invested in developing deep and rich relationships and community within the church…
If our lives lack discipline and restraint…
If all we do is spend time with people at a similar age and stage of life as us…
Then what does that teach the next generation?
In short, it teaches them that all of the above are to be aspired to.
Christian discipleship’s worst enemy is the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
They WILL do as YOU do, regardless of what you say.
Perfection is not the aspiration.
Christ-likeness…holiness…is.
Therefore, discipleship starts with Christ.
He is the one who leads.
He is the one we are to follow.
He is the one we are to live for;
And he is the one we are to die for.
But all too often, we live for and die for self.
And that becomes the kind of discipleship we pass on to the next generation.
Church, this ought not to be.
Rather, guided by the Holy Spirit, our lives should imitate Christ.
We should be marked by the fruit of the Spirit.
Our time, our priorities, and how we spend our resources should reflect a heart that is being transformed by God daily…and not just on Sundays.
And as we follow Jesus…as we grow and mature in Christ-likeness, we are called to make disciples of others.
Yes, that includes our own children (for those of us who have them), but it is also so much more than that.
As the church, our call to follow Jesus includes the call to disciple one another – to be discipled by those who are older and wiser in the faith and to disciple those who are younger and newer to the faith.
How did Jesus disciple his followers?
He did life with them.
Jesus’ disciples saw him at his best and they saw him at his worst.
He included them in just about everything.
He took them to weddings…he took them on roadtrips…he celebrated festivals with them.
They shared meals together.
They did life together.
And because of this, they learned what it meant to follow him.
They learned what it looked like to follow Jesus.
They grew in their own faith, and then they discipled others to also follow Jesus.
Would you open up your life and invite others in?
To see what it means to follow Jesus, even as we imperfectly follow him?
Inviting people into your home, and into your family (if you have one), to do life together is a key form of discipleship.
Sharing meals…working on projects…going on holidays…together.
Inviting some who are younger and others who are older…
Not only will this help to provide community and fellowship for those who are single (whether single and wanting to get married, single and content, or single again), but it reflects a culture of discipleship.
Imagine as a young family that you invest in one or two of the young people, inviting them into your home once a week for several hours, including dinner…maybe they help look after your kids…maybe you help them with some homework…maybe you prep dinner together…maybe you clean up together…you share that time and the messiness of life together…you have conversations over dinner…you eventually go on holidays together.
You become someone they trust and confide in…as they study, navigate relationships, and enter the workforce.
Imagine your kids seeing this develop…imagine your kids then looking up to these young people as role models and as people they can go to with tough questions when they don’t feel like going to mum and dad…
Imagine these young people investing in and discipling your own children and the children of others in the same way you discipled them.
Or maybe you don’t have kids in your home…whether you, yourself, are single or a married couple, you can still invite people into your home and into your life.
You’re still called to disciple and be discipled.
Who are the spiritual kids you’re investing in?
Who are your spiritual parents?
How incredible it would be to have this more as the culture of our church!
Would you pray to that end?
Would you open up your own home and invite people into your life to that end?
May God help us to create a discipleship culture within our church that future generations would grow up to know and love Jesus with their whole lives, having been discipled by their church family and now investing their own lives and resources into discipling others.
