Let Singleness be Honoured Among All
"I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that." (1 Corinthians 7:7)
In this verse, the Apostle Paul admits that he wishes all the Corinthian Christians were as he is. What did he mean by this? Did he wish they were all Jewish like he was? No. Did he wish that they had received the same Biblical training? Maybe, but that's not what he's saying here. In this verse, Paul is saying that he wishes they were all single. Why would he say this? Was Paul against marriage?
Paul is clearly not anti-marriage (1 Timothy 4:3), he teaches that it is a profound symbol of the gospel (Ephesians 5:31-32). In one circumstance, he advised young widows to get married (1 Timothy 5:14). Marriage is good and should be honoured among God's people (Hebrews 13:4). However, Paul did not think that marriage is an essential milestone for us all to tick off in life. Paul believed that being single was more advantageous because it allowed him to be undivided in his devotion to God (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). He wanted other followers of Jesus to be undistracted and wholehearted in their devotion to God, but never went as far as commanding singleness because he knew that this lifestyle would take a measure of self-control that only God's grace can provide (1 Corinthians 7:6-7).
This has many implications for the way we think and talk about singleness in church. We should never talk about singleness as a curse that some poor soul has to deal with, as if they have missed out on an essential part of human life! Singleness is a genuine option for human and spiritual flourishing in the Kingdom of God, whether embraced or endured. Many single people live generously, sacrificially, and deeply devoted lives of service and worship. We do well to honour this openly as God's people.
I was talking to a brother recently who is preparing to marry. I was sharing about some of the joys of marriage with him, but I also told him to enjoy all the time he still had to devote himself to prayer, to conversation with God, and so on. Once you're married, some of those blank spaces you had when going to bed or waking up will no longer be your own to talk with God; they will be shared. This discussion is not a matter of right or wrong in Paul's mind (hence he doesn't command a particular lifestyle), but of good and better.1
Even though Paul thinks singleness is more advantageous for devotion to Christ, he was not afraid to counsel people to get married when he believed that was a wiser path for them (1 Timothy 5:14). God has designed and gifted us all differently. In the end, our wise and loving Father will use whatever situation we're in, whether never married, divorced, widowed or currently married, for our growth and our good (Romans 8:28-29). But, the next time we're tempted to assume that a single person should get married, let's remember that the most glorious and consequential human life in history was lived by a single, celibate man called Jesus. Singleness can be a gift. It can also be a challenge. But it is never beneath the honour we often reserve for married life. Let singleness be honoured among all.
Grace to you,
Ben
P.S. Want to explore this more, whether you're single or not? This Australian-based resource is worth checking out: https://singleminded.community/
